The Closing

Our morning started with five hungry kids waking up in the camper parked out in the yard. The refrigerator had been cleaned out the day before so there was no food. The walk through went fine the night before and almost everything was ready to go. The strawberry patch was still in full bloom and our 22 month old sat hungrily and devoured each berry into his mouth that he found…including some mushrooms growing next to the patch.

Luckily for us, our daughter saw this happen, knew it was bad, and reported it to me immediately. I turned my head and saw little Bono chew it quickly and swallow. Now the ironic thing is that the buyer for our home, her husband is a mushroom fanatic. I called her at once and asked to speak with him. His answer was the same as poison control: take him right away to the emergency room.

Now, the buyers are both postal service workers and the husband pulls up in his mail truck and charges into the emergency waiting area with his huge book of everything a person could/would/should want to know about mushrooms. I guess he carries it around with him. He takes a look at the sample mushroom I have and frowns, “Not enough. I must go to the house to get more samples!” So, off he drove as fast as that mail truck could carry him.

Full speed he ran through our yard grabbing mushrooms of various sorts and rushing back into his mail truck. An odd relay game to watch for our neighbors. Back at the hospital he is in full sweat, studying each mushroom with his book in hand, and announces, “It isn’t deadly, but it is poisonous.” He hands me his book and says, “Good luck at the closing!”

Closing? Oh crap! All is messed up now, the packing is left to Sean and the two boys and it is suppose to happen at 11am. It is 10:30. Well, when has a closing ever happened on time for me? Almost never. This excuse was the most unique.

So Bono is taken to his room and a doctor comes to the conclusion that a charcoal treatment is to be administered. An attractive, tall nurse with short, red hair comes in and introduces herself. All seems okay at this moment. Bono is still okay. It takes about 24 hours for the poison symptoms to start. We are only on hour one. Got plenty of time. She mixes two cups of ground charcoal in with chocolate Hershey’s syrup, pops in a straw and hands it to hungry Bono. Curious, he sips it and takes a few gulps. Suddenly he prefers to be hungry. This stuff is deep black, thick and bad tasting. It absorbs the poisons of the mushroom so that his body doesn’t digest it—or little of it. He is not game. A surringe is needed. Bono clamps his jaws shut and arches his back screaming through his nose. I plug it and his mouth gasps open. In went the surringe with the nasty tonic. This goes on for 20 minutes and almost two cups of hell. Bono’s face is black, his eyes red from crying and his trauma is more than I can bear.

“That’s enough. No more,” I said. Afraid for him to throw it up, the nurse would have to start all over again with a tube down his nose. I held him and talked to him quietly telling him I got him and that we are all done. It took a team of nurses to wipe him clean. He looked like he repaved a road.

A moment later Bono was out of my arms and rummaging through all the drawers, emergency equipment and pushing carts all over. He was fine now and being a complete terror.

We made a mad dash to the attorney’s office and left the house undone. This is a no-no. You must always be done and moved out before you close on a property. As a Realtor, this was embarrassing. Once the closing was completed, we hurried back and got the trailer and all the toys out of the yard, packed it all up and pulled out—just as the new owners were moving in.
One thing for sure, we sold our precious home to some wonderful people. Thank you John and Laurie for the care and concern for Bono. We wish you the best in your new home!